


Midnight Touches

by yamifizzy



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Boyfriends, College, Cuddling & Snuggling, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Mild Smut, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-01
Updated: 2015-06-26
Packaged: 2018-02-11 08:57:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2061948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yamifizzy/pseuds/yamifizzy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren says he's scared of sleeping alone so it doesn't surprise Levi when Eren climbs into his bed at night.<br/>Eren says he's always cold so it doesn't surprise Levi when Eren wraps his body around him.<br/>Eren says he's never kissed before so it doesn't surprise Levi when Eren's lips fit perfectly into his.<br/>Eren says he's never been in love so it does't surprise Levi when Eren tells him he loves him.<br/>Eren says he's never had sex before so it doesn't surprise Levi when Eren tells his he's ready for "the thing".<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Scared of Sleeping Alone

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Parachute's Kiss Me Slowly.

“Levi?” Eren’s voice wasn’t even above a whisper. Did he think that if I was sleeping I would’ve heard him call my name? “Levi, are you awake?”

“Yes Eren, I’m awake. Do you need something?”

“Can I… Can I sleep with you?”

“Why?”

“I’m scared of sleeping alone.”

“Come here.” I lifted my blanket so Eren could climb under it and scooted over closer to the wall to give Eren some space. A couple of minutes passed of complete silence but I knew Eren was still awake.

“Levi?”

“Mmm?”

“Thank you.”

I didn’t reply to his gratitude statement. Soon after I could hear his soft and even breathing, letting me know he had fallen asleep.

Eren Jeager. What can I say about him? I think it’s most important to say that I barely knew him. I had met him after he had given me a call regarding the poster I had hung around all around campus. The only things I wrote on there were I needed a roommate that would help me pay the rent of my small apartment. I also put in bold letters all the requirements necessary for the person to actually be able to live in the same space as me. The words neat and quiet stood out the most. I wasn’t expecting anyone to call, since I was aware the requirements were a bit too much, but then he called. He said that he needed a place to stay and he didn’t care what he had or didn’t have to do he’ll follow all my orders as long as I let him be my roommate.

Let’s just say his words convinced me, and fast.

I asked him if he at least didn’t want to see the apartment first, or just meet me. He said that wasn’t necessary but if I insisted…

He came by the same day. We agreed to meet at 4pm exactly. I’ve always been a punctual man and hated when others showed up late to places. But right when the clock hit four I heard the doorbell ring. I hadn’t even met the guy and I liked him already.

When I opened the door what I saw was exactly what I didn’t expect. There standing in front of me was a guy that looked no older than 18, with bright green eyes that shined, straight white teeth lined into a perfect smile and dark brown short hair. He was also tall and well built.

“Uh hello. I’m Eren, are you Levi?” I took a mental note of how innocent his voice was.

“Yes, that’s me. Come on in.” I led him in and showed him around the apartment, which didn’t take long since it was quite small. There was the living room right when you entered, connected to a small kitchen. Then after the kitchen there were three doors, two small bedrooms and the bathroom. I showed Eren which room would be his, and which room was mine. I took the opportunity to tell him how much I respected my privacy and how no matter the situation he was not allowed to go in my room.

“But what if you’re dying?” I would’ve thought he was joking if it weren’t for the sincere look in his eyes.

“Then I’ll make sure to let you know.” I know that made no sense but it looked like to Eren it did because he nodded and smiled.

After looking at the bathroom we went back to the living room and I sat down on the couch. Eren stayed standing, maybe afraid that if he sat down without my permission I would bark at him and kick him out faster than he could say sorry.

“You can sit, if you want.”

“Okay.” He quickly took a sit next to me, being careful not to touch me. If he decided to stay I was going to have the time of my life annoying the shit out of him.

“So is there anything else I need to know?” He eyed me curiously, patiently waiting for my reply.

“I’m glad you asked because yes, there are a lot of things you need to know.” I watched his reaction but was disappointed to find him happily nodding as if he enjoyed being set rules to follow. Maybe I wouldn’t have that much fun.

“Firstly, respect my privacy. Meaning don’t go into my room like I already told you, don’t look through my stuff, don’t ask too many questions, I mean, don’t ask _any_ questions. Second, pick up after yourself. Don’t leave trash laying around, no clothes, no papers, no food, nothing. The place always has to be spotless, just like it is now. Any type of dirt, no matter how small, will be tolerated. And lastly, don’t make any noise. Meaning the TV volume can’t be too loud, definitely no music is allowed. There will be no inviting over friends to “hang out”, obviously no parties, or boys or girls. I think that’s all for now, but I might’ve missed something so when I remember I’ll let you know. Do you understand?”

“Crystal clear.” Eren’s smile grew wider by the minute.

“Does that mean you’re willing to abide by those rules?” I think the kid hadn’t heard me as clearly as he thought.

“Yes! So when can I move in?” Too excited for my liking but as long as he didn’t get in my way there was no problem.

“Whenever you want.” When I said that I didn’t really mean it. I needed time to accept the fact that I was going to be sharing an apartment with a total stranger, a cute stranger at fact, but still a stranger.

“Then I’ll be back later with my stuff.” What?

“Today?”

“Yes today, is there a problem with that?” So he wasn’t as innocent as he looked.

“Of course not.” And with that I went to get the key from the kitchen drawer, handed it back to Mr. Eren, and told him he could find his way out.

It was about an hour later when I heard the door open and heavy puffs whom I guessed were from Eren who was carrying his stuff. I thought about just staying in my room waiting for him to finish but the nice part in me made me go out into the living room and help carry his stuff, which I noticed wasn’t much.

“Is there more stuff you need help with?”

“No—” Eren was still trying to catch his breath. “This is it.” I wanted to ask him why he had so little stuff but felt like I was being a hypocrite since I earlier told him not to ask any questions.

“Thank you. For helping me. And for letting me stay here.”

Not many people gave me thanks so hearing those words leave Eren’s lips made my heart warm up a little.

“It’s no problem.” I replied without looking at him and made my way back to my room, but before I could lock myself in I glanced back at Eren to find him looking back at me.

 

|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|

 

It was about a month later of Eren living with me that he came into my room asking if he could sleep with me. Throughout the whole month Eren had followed my rules and more often than not I found myself thinking I lived alone, that’s how quiet he was being. But then I would see him in the kitchen early in the morning making breakfast, telling me that he would finish soon and I’d be able to use the kitchen. However, after I told him not to worry about it and made my way to the bathroom to get ready for school, I’d come back to a spotless kitchen and a plate of food on the counter. Eren was an amazing cook.

That had been the routine for the whole month, until a certain Saturday night came and I found myself agreeing to let Eren climb into my bed and tangle his feet in my sheets. I had never slept beside anyone before, so this was a first. I wasn’t used to the warmth his body emitted, or the small snores that escaped his lips.

Although Eren moved a lot in his sleep, I noticed, since I couldn’t sleep one bit that night, he barely touched me all night. I was finally able to fall asleep late in the morning, but when the natural clock in me woke me up, Eren was no longer lying beside me. When I went into the kitchen, hoping to find him there like he always did, all I found was a plate wrapped in tin foil and a note on top that said:

_I’m sorry about last night. I’m scared of sleeping alone._

~Eren


	2. 'Cause It's Cold Inside

The October chilly air made its way into my unzipped leather jacket. I knew the temperature was getting colder but I still hadn’t taken out my winter clothes, since it had only been fall for about two weeks. I instantly regretted my decision of wearing the thin jacket. The cool breeze hit me like a slap to the face and I couldn’t help myself from slightly shivering as I made my way to campus. Today I left before Eren woke up, since I needed to do something before class started

Since Eren was always walking around with warmer clothes on, something he explained was because he got cold easily, I thought about going back to tell Eren it was colder than we both expected. But going back to let him know would show I cared, and I knew I wasn’t the type to care about others, learning at a young age that the only person I needed to care about was myself and no one else. But living with Eren had started to change things as I knew them, although I tried very hard to deny it. Being around him for a little bit more than a month made a side of me come out that I never knew existed. I found myself enjoying his presence, which was only known in the morning when I woke up early enough to catch him in the kitchen, making breakfast like he always did. He always looked so cute, already dressed up to go to school and smiling every time he saw me. I tried not to smile back but I couldn’t help myself. He hadn’t done anything bad to me or broken any of my rules.

It had been a week since he had climbed into my bed, and I had yet to have a conversation with him. It was like he was avoiding me or ashamed of his actions. He started leaving the apartment earlier than usual, so he wasn’t in the kitchen when I woke up. I tried to not let that fact affect me, but saying it didn’t would be a lie. I felt like I needed to do something about it, and since it was Friday and there would be no school the next day, it was the perfect opportunity.

But even after telling this to myself, I still didn’t go back to warn Eren about that chilly wind that made the leaves in the trees start to fall. Instead, I zipped up my jacket and continued walking.

 

|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|

 

I opened the door to the apartment and made my way in, expecting to be greeted with warm air, but instead the temperature felt the same as it did outside.

The apartment was quiet, like it always was. “Eren, are you home?” I secretly hoped he wasn’t home. I would’ve felt guilty if he had been in the apartment the whole time, freezing to death because I never told him how the heating system worked. And even if he knew how it worked, he probably would’ve never had the guts to turn it on, fearing I’d get mad because I never told him he could touch it in the first place.

I still didn’t expect a response, and was glad I didn’t hear one. It was Friday night after all, and Eren was a young guy, who was probably out partying with his friends instead of staying at home like me.

Home. Did he consider this place his home? Home is a place where you feel comfortable and safe. The way things had been going lately I wouldn’t really say he considered this place his home. We didn’t even socialize and most of the time he was out, only coming home to sleep. Thinking about this made me feel bad, and something was tugging at my heart, letting me know I had to do something about it.

I let out a big sigh, finding myself once again caring about him more than I needed to. Was it really my job to make him feel comfortable?

Not wanting to go deeper into the thought, I shook my head and sighed once again.

After dropping my bag on the couch, I made my way to the kitchen. I was so exhausted from school and on top of that I had worked, so all I wanted to do was just crash and sleep all weekend. But that wasn’t going to be possible, since I had to work again tomorrow. I did have Sunday off but that day would most likely be spent doing unnecessary school work.

I looked at the clock on the stove, the numbers 9:18 blinked back at me. It was still too early to go to sleep, and I needed to talk to Eren tonight, otherwise I wouldn’t have a chance to do so until next Friday.

Before I forgot, I went and turned the thermostat all the way up, hoping to hear some type of grumbling sound that signed the heater had turned on, but I heard nothing. After turning it up and down, off and on a couple of times, and not hearing anything, I figured it was broken.

Now I really wished Eren didn’t come home.

I left the kitchen and headed towards my room as frustration took over me. Now there was something else I needed to fix.

I laid on my bed, pulling the blanket over me. But just by the act of laying down my eyes wanted to close on their own, and I couldn’t let that happen. I still had my jacket and shoes on, and also filth that had accumulated on me since this morning. Although the air was cold, I went and took a long hot bath.

The water felt comforting, it was warm enough to prevent me from feeling the coldness around me. However, that calmness it had provided me did nothing to stop me from thinking about him. When did I let him become the center of my thoughts?

I don’t know how long I stayed in there but I figured it was time to get out, since I was starting to look worse than a raisin.

Once I was dry and dressed up in sweats and a large sweater, it was already past 10pm and Eren still wasn’t home. Although it might be a long time until he got home, I was determined to stay awake and wait for him.

I went back into bed, once again covering myself with the cozy blanket. Soon I started to feel the warmth, making me feel sleepier than I was before. But I still tried to stay awake, looking at the time on the alarm clock, watching time go by.

The last time my eyes looked up at the clock it read 12:07 and after that everything turned blurry and I didn’t check the time again.

 

|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|

 

I woke up to something shaking my shoulder. My eyes opened and the first thing I saw was the blinking red numbers that read 1:21. But then I was shaken again and looking up I saw his face

“L-levi.” Once my eyes had adjusted to light coming from the lamp on my bedside table, I could clearly see Eren, and he was shivering. I sat up on the bed, his hand still resting on my shoulder, slightly shaking.

“Levi.” He repeated again, this time not letting his shivering affect my name. “I’m s-sorry for w-waking you. B-but, I, I…”

He stopped there, not knowing what to say next. Or maybe he knew but couldn’t get it out. I took the time to really look at him. The orange glow of the light gave one side of his face a warm reflection, but the other side was visibly pale. His lips, which were being bitten by his upper teeth, had a bluish tint to it. The way he was shivering told me he was biting them to prevent his teeth from chattering from the cold.

Eren was freezing, literally.

Guilt. I felt it then.

He looked at me like a puppy looked at his owner when they did something bad, and since I hadn’t said anything since he woke me up or just reacted in any way, my expression wasn’t the greatest.  Even then, he continued to talk.

“I’m really, really c-cold.” He breathed out. “I-I just, I, umm, b-blanket?”

He didn’t need to say anything else, I knew what he meant although it came out like the speech of a baby trying to learn how to talk.

But I only owned one blanket, since I lived by myself and only needed one for myself.

“I-I don’t ha—,”

“Eren.” I cut him off before he went and unnecessarily explained himself more than he needed to. He was visibly freezing to death and I need to do something soon. So I did the first thing I could think of. I lifted my blanket up and moved over on the bed, making space for him to climb in. But he didn’t climb in, not at first. He looked at me like he didn’t understand what I was signaling at, but I didn’t blame him. The cold sometimes makes it harder to think and just process the simplest of things.

“Come on,” With the movement of my head I motioned for him to get in, and this time he got what I meant.

Eren quickly got in after that, trying not to hug all the blanket to himself since I needed some too, but he had taken too little and was still shivering. I quietly laughed to myself and threw more of the blanket his way. He looked at me surprised, but still wrapped more of himself in it.

“Thanks.” It was after a while I heard his muffled whisper, so quiet it could barely be heard from under the blanket, just like that night I let him climb into my bed because he was scared of sleeping alone.

Unlike the last time, I wanted to respond, say something like ‘it’s no problem’ or ‘anytime’, but I couldn’t bring myself to let the words out. The extra warmth coming from his side of the bed felt unusual, just like that first time. But this time it felt so much better. Maybe it was because outside that blanket the air was cold and uninviting. Or maybe it was because I already had the feeling of what it felt like to sleep along someone, and found it nice, nice enough to repeat for a second time. Either way, I felt at peace as I heard Eren’s breathing go back to normal, the sound driving me to sleep as well.

 

|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|

 

I woke up feeling too warm than when I did when I feel asleep. I went to push the blanket off a bit but instead found a pair of arms around me. The events that happened before I fell asleep the second time came back to me.

Eren.

Those were his arms wrapped around me and his legs tangled in mine, warning me up more than the blanket could.

I was being spooned by Eren.

If this had happened a month ago, I would’ve calmly—maybe—thrown him off me, not wanting to be so close to him, to be touched by him at such an undefensive state. But at the moment, as I felt the heat from him, as I felt his faint heartbeat beating against my back, I wanted nothing else then to be in his arms. Maybe it was because it was 3 in the morning, but I let that statement slide without giving it a second thought.

Eren had previously complained about always being cold, so feeling his warmth made me peacefully drift off back to sleep, his arms and legs still wrapped around me.

 


	3. 10:01 Wish

“You’re here.” Eren looked up at the sound of my voice, his face in an expression I’d never seen before.

He nodded his head, not saying a word. He turned back around to face the stove, where I could see he was making pancakes.

The room was still cold, but unlike last night, Eren wasn’t shivering, since he was wearing a big sweater and underneath I could see he had multiple layers.

“I’m sorry about the temperature. Something’s wrong with the heater so it doesn’t work.” The room stayed silent for a couple of seconds before Eren replied.

“It’s okay.” He still didn’t turn around. “I should be the one saying sorry.”

“What?” There was no reason for Eren to be sorry, he hadn’t done anything bad, as far as I was concerned.

“I went into your room.” Before I had time to process his words he continued speaking. “That was one of the rules, to never go into your room. And I did, twice.” He finally turned around after turning off the stove, looking back at me with saddened eyes. “I was scared you’d kick me out if you saw me after it happened the first time, so I tried to avoid you. But then when I got home last night I was freezing and I tried to sleep in my bed but the cold didn’t let me so I couldn’t think of anything else but going into your room to let you know and I’m sorry if you want I’ll pack up right now and leave and you’ll never hav—”

“Eren.” I cut his rambling off.

“Sorry.” He dropped his gaze to the floor, afraid to look at me in the eyes any longer.

The way he looked at that moment made something in my own chest drop, and I couldn’t stand to look at him like that any longer. Without even thinking at all I walked towards him and placed my cold fingers on his chin, eliciting a small shiver from his part, and lifted it up so he could look at me.

“Eren, there’s no need to be sorry.” His eyes widened at my words, and I saw his lips start to open to maybe speak but I didn’t give him the chance. “You didn’t do anything wrong, so there’s no need to be sorry. Last night, when you were visibly shivering from the cold and asked for a blanket, you had every right to walk in to my room and let me know. It was my fault that the apartment was cold in the first place.” His eyes light green eyes appeared even glassier, like in any moment he was going to burst out crying.

“No, don’t look like that.” The words slipped out before I even had time to process them, and just after I said them tears started coming out of Eren’s eyes.

I didn’t know what to do by just looking at him cry in front of me because of something I said. He must’ve seen the quick despair in my eyes because in between his sobs he laughed, and then he continued laughing until he wasn’t crying anymore. When he opened his closed eyes again, ones he had closed when he started laughing out of nowhere, the look on my face made his laughing abruptly halt.

“Sorry,” he said once again, sniffling. “It’s just that I wasn’t really crying. Well I was but not because I was sad or anything, no. It’s that when you said all of that you looked and sounded so sincere and it made me so genuinely happy, especially since I thought you were going to tell me to leave after disobeying your rules.”

Somewhere along the way, some word he said, a warm sensation started to settle all over my heart, a feeling I’d never felt before.

“I would never just tell you to leave Eren. I’m sorry you even had to think that in the first place. All this week I’ve been meaning to talk to you but you just confirmed you’ve been avoiding me.” A noticeable blush spread all over his cheeks.

“Sorry for thinking that.”

“Stop saying sorry!” I didn’t like the way his expression fell every time he apologized.

“Sorr—” The look on my face stopped him from completing the word. “I, uh, will stop apologizing for everything.”

I smiled at his words, an act that made his pupils dilate, something I could see because of how close we were standing, and just like he had read my mind he moved back, bumping into the stove, his cheeks becoming tinted again by his actions. He looked up at me and chuckled trying to come up with something to say, but I just shook my head and walked back to the table, sitting down on a chair and still watching him.

“Is breakfast ready?” And that’s really when the color traveled from his cheeks back to his ears, the look on his face making me laugh.  

 

 

|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|

 

After Eren recovered from his little episode, we ate breakfast in silence. I still wanted to talk about the room incident but time had gone by and I needed to go to work.

Since I was going to work I wasn’t going to have time to figure out the heater thing, so I told Eren he should go out and not be in the apartment until I could fix whatever was wrong with it.

When I got back from work, Eren wasn’t home, which made me feel relieved. I started messing with the heater, trying to figure out why it didn’t work. It was around 8pm, two hours after I had gotten home from work and I still couldn’t figure out the problem. So I did the only thing I could do and called an electrician, explaining the problem and stressing about how cold the temperature was, but he still told me he wasn’t going to be able to come by until a week later. Apparently a lot of people recently found out their heaters weren’t working either, so he was rather busy. I hung up on him and tried calling other electricians around the area, which weren’t much. They all said the same thing.

Since I had basically hung up on the first three, I was a little nicer to the last one, who told me he’d come by next Sunday.

When Eren got home that night, earlier than the night before, it was around 10pm and the apartment was colder than it was in the morning. I was sitting on the couch, the TV showing some program I wasn’t really paying attention to.

“Hey Levi,” he said, coming in with a couple of bags in hand, a probably recently bought scarf around his neck.

“I bought some stuff,” He had noticed me eyeing the bags, so he went onto explaining himself, not that he needed to since I didn’t ask any questions. I didn’t reply, guessing he wasn’t done.

He walked to the front of the couch and sat down on it, putting the bags between us. He opened one of them and took something out. “I bought a blanket.” He brought the object up and I could see that it was a cream colored blanket, fluffy and quite big. But although he looked so happy when he was showing me the other blanket he bought, this one a sky blue color, my mind was processing the thoughts that now that he had a blanket he didn’t need to sleep next to me anymore.

“And I also bought this, for you.” His words brought me back to reality, and focusing on the object in his hand I saw a blanket, very similar and if not the same as the one I own, the same one we shared last night and the same one wrapped around me at the moment. “I figured since I slept with yours last night, you’d want a new one.” I tried very hard not to frown or show my disappointment, I didn’t want to ruin the smile on his face.

“Thank you,” was all I said, giving him my own smile. 

“It’s the least I can do.” He started putting the blankets back into the bag but I grabbed his wrist, stopping him from doing so.

“Eren,” he looked at my hand holding his wrist, then up to me with a surprised expression. “You don’t owe me anything and you didn’t ‘dirty’ my blanket. What happened last night, and that other night, it doesn’t matter.” Something flashed in his eyes but it was too quick for me to catch its meaning. “I don’t want you to feel bad about it, or think that you owe me anything because of it. If you want, I’ll forget about it. It’ll be like it never happened.” The look came back, but this time it stayed a little longer.

“If that’s what you want, then yes, it never happened.” He handed me the blanket he bought me and got up from the couch, grabbing the bag and walking in the direction of his room. “Goodnight Levi.” Before I could reply I heard the sound of his door closing.

Although I don’t know what, I felt like I had done something majorly wrong.

 

|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|

 

The clock read 1:46 and I still hadn’t fallen asleep. I was under the covers, still using the one from last night because it still smelled like him. I had carefully folded the new blanket Eren got me and placed it in my closet, preferring the one with his smell.

Acts like this would’ve once driven me crazy, a million questions running through my head asking why I was doing such stupid sentimental stuff. But I stopped fighting it. Eren was doing things to me, making me feel things that I wasn’t used to feeling before, and it scared me at first but I got tired of fighting it off, and just let it take over.

I was still awake because I couldn’t stop thinking about Eren and that expression he put right before he got up and walked into his room, only saying ‘goodnight Levi’ with a tone of voice I wasn’t used to hearing. Those events unsettled me, and I had to do something about it otherwise I wasn’t going to be getting any sleep tonight.

So I did the most unlike thing for someone like me to do. I got up, grabbed my blanket and wrapped it around myself as I made my way to Eren’s room. I thought about knocking but what if he was asleep? I dismissed the thought and just walked in, surprised to find him awake with his gaze directed at the ceiling, the light coming from the window making me see that his eyes were indeed open.

“Eren?” He mustn’t have heard the door because he jumped at the sound of my voice, letting a little scream escape his lips.

“Levi? What the hell you scared the hell out of me.” He reached the lamp on his bedside table and turned it on, his green eyes wider than I’ve ever seen them.

“Sorry for scaring you,” I tried not to laugh.

“Is everything alright?” All signs of being scared left his face and that expression from before suddenly came back.

“Yeah, everything’s fine.” I didn’t know what to say, since I didn’t have a reason to come to his room in the first place. And then it hit me. “I was just wondering if you want to come sleep in my bed. Is just that I only have two blankets and you have two blankets now and we shouldn’t be dirtying them all, when we could instead of using two separate ones only just use one.” My words surprised even me, but not as much as they did Eren because his mouth was wide open his eyes once again became big orbs. And then I figured it out, why he had reacted that way. The way he looked at me then and the way he was looking at me at the moment made me realize that unlike I suggested he didn’t want to forget about those two nights. He didn’t want to forget that we had slept on the same bed. Was he feeling the same way I was?

“I think, I think that’s a great idea.” His surprised expression was gone, instead replaced by a smile. “You do have a bigger bed,” he added on, the smile still in place. A smile that warmed up my heart and made me realize that maybe, just maybe I was falling for a certain green eyed boy named Eren.

 

|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|

 

So it happened just like that. Eren climbed into my bed that night, sharing the same blanket and breathing space as me. Then it happened again the next night, and I woke up with his arm across my waist. The next night not only was his arm hugging me, but his leg was thrown across my own leg. The night after that I woke up not only with his arm and leg holding me tight, but his faze nuzzled into the back of my neck. The fourth night I had become his little spoon, his body so close to mine that I could feel his heartbeat just like that first night he held me in his sleep.

The following nights that followed were just like that. During our waking hours we never discussed it but the look in Eren’s eyes told me he knew it was happening, and he also knew that I knew what was going on. But even then we never brought the subject up.

That whole week Eren was back to being in the kitchen making breakfast when I woke up in the morning. Not only that but he spent more time at home after school. Although I worked, I always found him in the apartment when I got back at night.

That gave us time to socialize and get to know each other way better, but none of our conversations were as intimate as the moments we shared at night, when I felt his faint breathing tickle my neck and make the hairs of my nape stand up. None of the activities we engaged in, like watching TV or baking a cake because according to Eren turning the oven on would make the place a little warmer, were as satisfying as the secure way I felt when his arms were holding me tight.

As the days of that week went by, I was taking closer steps to realizing my feelings for Eren.

Then Saturday night rolled by, and it was 9:57pm when Eren was laid awake next to me, both of us not wanting to sleep but having nothing better to do. It was 9:58 when Eren turned to face me, the eyes that bore into the side of my face making me turn around to face him as well.

It was still that time when he spoke.

“Have you ever been kissed?” The question caught me by surprise, but I still responded in time.

9:59. “Yes. Have you?”

He thought about it for a moment before replying. “No, I’ve never been kissed before.” Then numbers on the clock read 10:00.

We looked at each other without doing anything, something strong radiating from both of our bodies, so strong I swear I could see the waves in the air.

Then before I could process what was going on Eren was scooting closer to me, his face closing the gap between us and the last thing I did before I closed my eyes was look at the clock.

10:01. Eren’s soft lips met mine for a brief second. He pulled away not even a centimeter, our faces so close I could see that his eyes weren’t a solid color, but a mixture of the color of the trees and the color of the sea when the light hits it and it stop looking blue for just that second.

He leaned over again and kissed me with more pressure, opening his lips a bit and I could taste a hint of the hot chocolate we had drank before heading to bed.

And we stayed like that, both our faces laying on the pillow, looking at each other and stealing kisses once in a while. When our eyes started drifting he reached over and turned off the lamp, giving me one last long kiss before sleep took over him.

Eren had just told me he had never been kissed before, but the last thing I thought about before going to sleep was the way his lips fit so perfectly when pressed into mine.


	4. I Lied

The sound of my alarm clock woke me up. The annoying sound told me it was time to get up and get ready to head to work. I reached over to turn the sound off, expecting Eren’s body to be blocking my way, but was surprised when I felt nothing but a cold pillow. At first my heart skipped a beat and the worst case scenario crossed my mind. Did he regret what happened last night and fled before I could see his face?

If it weren’t for the banging sounds coming from the kitchen, I would’ve continued to come up with more silly ‘what if’s’.

I turned off the alarm and got up from the bed, heading towards the door to see if I could spot Eren. He was standing by the stove, probably making some fancy breakfast—I could tell by the smell—that didn’t consist of burnt bread and bitter coffee. His back was facing me but by the way he was moving I could conclude that he was happy, probably smiling. I mean, the soft humming was a dead giveaway. All negative thoughts that crossed my mind when I woke up this morning were completely dissipated by the scene unfolding in front of me.

I took one last look at Eren, my lips forming a small smile as I silently got out through the bedroom door and headed towards the bathroom. I didn’t want to disrupt Eren’s breakfast making ritual, which visibly made him very happy. Plus, I couldn’t have approached him without brushing my teeth first anyways.

After brushing my teeth and washing my face, I got out of the bathroom to find Eren already eating his breakfast. The plate in front of him had what looked like French toast dripped in syrup, and sliced bananas and strawberries on top. I knew it was something fancy.

He had a mug pressed to his lips, sipping what smelled like hot chocolate. When he noticed me in the room, his eyes locked with mine and he suddenly put the mug down and started coughing, like he was choking on it or something.

I rushed to his side and patted his back until the coughing stopped.

“Are you okay?” I went to sit opposite him on the other side of the round table, where a plate with my own breakfast was situated. There was a mug next to my plate, but by the color I could tell it was the black coffee I always drank.

Eren coughed one more time. “I’m okay.” His whole face had taken a light pinkish color and he wouldn’t meet my eyes.

“Eren?” I took a sip of my coffee. He made it just like I liked it.

“Huh?” He had his eyes glued to his breakfast like it was the most important thing in the world and if he stopped looking at it for one second, it would disappear, never to be seen again.

I wanted to laugh at how adorable he looked, but I held it in.

“Eren, look at me.” I don’t know if it was the tone of my voice or because my hand was reaching out to lift his chin up if he didn’t look at me within the next 5 seconds, but at the sound of my words he lifted his head and our eyes met.

The feeling that washed over my body when I looked into his eyes was something I couldn’t explain. I felt like by just staring into those green orbs I could remain alive without ever breathing oxygen again. Like water and food and any other living necessities could cease to exist because with Eren’s eyes on me and mine on his I could remain alive.

If this what they call falling in love?

“Eren,” I swear his eyes sparkled, mine probably did too. “You don’t have to hide from me.”

He didn’t say anything, I didn’t expect him to say anything. If someone had told me this I wouldn’t have known what to say either.

“And I promise I won’t hide from you either.” A genuine smile escaped my lips, one I didn’t even intend.

“Levi…” If his eyes made me feel alive, the sound of my name leaving his lips made me feel like I could live forever.

This has got to be what they call falling in love.

“Levi, I—”

“I know. It’s okay.” I smiled at him once again and looked down towards the French toast, grabbing the fork and taking a bite of it.

“Thanks for the breakfast Eren.” Without even having to look up at him I could tell he was still staring at me. “You should finish yours before it gets cold.” I couldn’t help to let out a small chuckle.

We ate in silence, no more words leaving our lips. But we both know there was an unspoken conversation between us. One full of confusion and awe of all these mixed feelings surrounding us and making the air feel different. We both knew something was happening, but there we no words to describe. That’s why I knew, and it was okay.

When we were done with our breakfast, Eren offered to do the dishes even though I told him since he cooked, I should’ve done it. But after he reminded me that I actually have a job to go to, I agreed to let him do it this time.

I went to change into my work outfit while Eren stayed in the kitchen. When I came out he had already finished and was drying his hands.

“I’m leaving now.”

“Wait.” He put the towel down on the counter and walked towards me. When he was a close distance to me he reached out and pulled me into a hug. Although we still had no heat, he felt really warm. Maybe it was because he was wearing a big coat, but still it felt nice. Since he was taller than me, my head was pressed against his chest. I never knew home had a smell, but that’s exactly how Eren smelled, like home.

He pulled out of the hug way before I wanted him to, but I knew I couldn’t stay in his arms forever. The thought of being touched by someone else was unspeakable of before, but now I wouldn’t mind being in Eren’s embrace until forever.

“Have a good day at work.” He smiled down at me. There was a look in his eyes that at first I couldn’t read but after just silently standing there staring at each other I recognized it right away. It was the same look he had last night right before we kissed.

That’s why I couldn’t help myself from grabbing the collar of his coat and dragging him down until he was close enough for our lips to connect. He still tasted of chocolate and syrup and despite the room’s temperature, his lips were warm and soft. Before I could feel my heart burst, I pulled back and walked away towards the door.

I wanted to say ‘Goodbye Eren, see you later’ but I most likely wouldn’t have been able to get the words out.

Since when had I become so weak?

 

|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|

 

I opened the doors of the apartment expecting to be met with the same cold air I felt this morning, but was surprised to feel warm air warming up my face. Then it hit me, the electrician was supposed to come today and I had forgotten to tell Eren.

“Eren, are you home?” Home, there we go again with that word. “Eren?”

It was only 7pm, so he couldn’t have been sleeping. He was most likely out with his friends or something of the sort. I took out my phone to call him, just in case but right when I went to look for his name I remembered I never really saved his phone number. The only phone conversation we had was the day we first met, a couple of months ago.

I went to take a hot bath, once again trying to get rid of thoughts of Eren, Eren, Eren, but the whole day all I could think about was him and that last kiss we shared.

When I was done I made myself a quick dinner and watched some tv until my eyes couldn’t stay open by themselves. I didn’t check the time I went to sleep, but Eren still wasn’t home.

 

|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|

 

"L-leeeeevi.” His voice woke me up. “Leeeevi wakey uup!”

If I couldn’t already tell by his speech, his smell told me he’d been drinking and he was very drunk.

I turned the bedside lamp on. In front of me stood a much disheveled Eren. His hair was a mess and his button down shirt was unbuttoned and I could see the coat he was wearing earlier thrown on the floor.

“Eren, what are you doing? Did you go drinking?” He pouted at me and closed his eyes.

“Leeevi.” His lids opened to show red, droopy eyes. “I felt bad heere.” He hit his chest with his fist repeatedly. “Din wann feel that anymooore.”

Staring at his reflection I didn’t know what to say. What feeling was he having that made him feel bad? Could it possibly be the same one I was feeling at the same moment, at the same spot he kept hitting with his fist?

“Do you still feel that way?” I wanted to know.

“It stopp!” He smiled, widely showing his grin, but just as the smile came it left. “But I see Levi and is back again.”

He looked at me with wide eyes, like his drunken mind was having difficulty processing anything at the moment. That is why I didn’t expect the next words to come out of his mouth.

No smile, no frown, perfectly spoken words.

“I think I like Levi.”

 

|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|

 

That night, I helped Eren clean himself and laid him in his bed, but even in his state, he refused, which resulted in him sleeping next to me.

We never spoke about what happened that night. I don’t know if it’s because he didn’t want to talk about it and pretended it never happened, or because he actually didn’t remember it at all, but either way those words he spoke to me still lingered in my head.

I stayed awake way after he was sound asleep. When morning came and it was time to wake up I had concluded that I also thought I liked Eren, just like he had said.

Although we never spoke of our feelings, out actions made up for the unspoken words. We didn’t put a label on it, but we both knew we were a couple. If kissing, cuddling, and going on “dates” is what real couples did, then yes, we were a couple.

Our dates consisted of very silly things Eren got very excited about, which I understood since he told me he had never really gone on dates before, or loved anyone for that matter.

The silly, cheesy, typical dates consisted of going to the movies, bowling, eating at a nice restaurant or going to clubs. But although I was never the type to even go on dates, if Eren was present nothing else mattered.

That’s how it went on for the next weeks. It wasn’t until a certain day in December that things took a different turn.

We were both off from school, and I had a day off from work, since it was the 25th. I was surprised when Eren didn’t mention anything Christmas related. Ever since he told me he’d rather stay with me than go visit any relatives for Thanksgiving, I figured there was something about him he wasn’t letting on.

It was late in the morning, and we were just lying in bed, cuddling and enjoying my free day when the phone rang. The phone ringing was a rare occurrence, since no one really called me. The only people that called my house phone where people from my work and the school administration, and Eren knew this.

“I’ll get it. If it’s from work I’ll tell them you’re not here and not available.” He lightly kissed my lips and left to get the phone.

I don’t know for how long he was gone but when he returned his face no longer held a smile.

“What happened? Was it from work? Do they want me to go in today?”

He didn’t say anything, just stayed there with a sad expression. “It wasn’t from work.”

He took a long pause. “It was a women named Kuchel. Kuchel Ackerman?” My eyes went wide open at the sound of that name, at the sound of my mother’s name.

“W-what?”

“She wanted to wish you a happy birthday.” Eren looked at me one last time and left the room. I wanted to go after him but my mind was stuck on that name. How did she get my phone number? I had changed it since the last time she tried to call to wish me a happy whatever. But why would Eren react that way to speaking with my mother, I mean I never did talk about her but what could’ve she said to make him—

Oh.

My birthday. Of course, he was the type of person to make a big deal out of a birthday.

I quickly got up from the bed and went to find Eren, whom was standing by the living room window, looking out into the sky.

“Eren.” He quickly turned around like he was expecting my appearance.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I—”

“Is there a reason why you didn’t tell me? Is it because your birthday is something you only tell people who are close to you, people you care about? Since you are such a secretive person, of course, you wouldn’t want just anyone to know about the day you were born. No, since I don’t mean anything to you there was no reason for me to know, right? Because I mean nothing to you, I mean, I’m not even your boyfriend, and you don’t even like me like that so why should I know.” I could tell he was close to tears.

“Ere—”

“No, you don’t have to say anything. There’s no reason for an explanation, I understand. I’m just simply your roommate. I have no right to know anything about your life because I don’t matter.” I saw the first tear escape.

“Eren.”

“I understand.” He wiped the tear away and went to walk away but I grabbed onto his wrist.

“Stop.”

“Levi, let go. I told you, you don’t need to expla—”

“I like you.” I couldn’t stop the words from spilling out.

“W-what?” I let his wrist go once he stopped fighting to get away.

“I like you. To me we are a couple, and I can call you my boyfriend if you want. I care about you, Eren. A lot.” I went to grab onto him again, but instead of grabbing his wrist I held his hands. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about my birthday, or anything else about my personal life. Before I met you I never used to let anyone in, so I made a habit of never telling anything personal to anyone else. As you can see, it’s a tough habit to break. But I’m willing to try and break it for you. I’ll tell you anything you want to know, no lies, without leaving anything out. I promise to do this because, Eren, you are very important to me and I care about you above anything or anyone else.”

Eren started crying for real and I was ready to tell him more about how important he was to me but in the midst of his sobs I saw a smile break out.

“I’d like to be your boyfriend,” he gripped my hands tighter, “Because I like you too.”

I wanted to kiss him but the tears and the possible snot stopped me. I instead brought him into a hug, which took a bit of effort because of how tall he was.

“Also, happy birthday!” He let go of me and gripped my shoulders. “How old did you turn today?”

“Twenty.” I chuckled.

“Hey! I thought you said you weren’t gonna lie!” He pouted at me.

“I lied. To be honest I don’t want you running away after confessing your love to me.”

“Huh. You know what, I lied too. I don’t like you.” He went to walk away, in what seem like he was pretending to be mad.

“Oh, I see how it is.” He stopped at the sound of my words and turned around, a serious expression on his face.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

“I meant it Levi, I don’t like you.” He opened his eyes and his lips curving into a half-smile. “I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you have enjoyed this emotional roller coaster of a chapter, I blame it all on the song Youth Hurts by VIXX :3  
> Thank you for reading and leaving your feedback, such as kudos and comments ^.^ You people are the best!


	5. Ready for "The Thing"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all I'd like to apologize to anyone who follows this fanfic. I know, it's been a while, well, more than a while. I've always wanted to update but I always pushed it off saying it didn't feel like the right time to end this fic. Well, it's finally the right time. I finished school, graduated yesterday actually, and I always said I'd start writing again when school wasn't an issue, well the time is finally here. And what better day to update then today, I mean, it is finally legal for couples of the same sex to get married in all the 50 states. Mmmm... So what better way to celebrate than to update this gem and finish it once and for all?  
> Once again, sorry for the delay, but now that I don't have as many things to worry about as before, I can start writing again and I have so many ideas for future fics, the time off kinda inspired me more than it should've.  
> Alright, now onto chapter 5! Enjoy :3

We were officially a couple. Although Eren had proclaimed his love to me, I still hadn’t done the same to him. Growing up I never knew what love really was, since I never felt it towards anyone, not even my parents. So now that I was presented with the situation of someone being in love with me, and me possibly being in love with them, I had my doubts. I didn’t know if it was love, but I knew it was something very different to what I had experienced before. The feelings that I had experienced in the past all felt fake, like there was something missing. I knew that once I developed feelings for anyone, which was rare, sooner or later they would disappear faster than they appeared in the first place.

But with Eren what I felt was different. I knew it was different right from the start. It wasn’t love at first site, no, I don’t believe that exists. But by getting to know him little by little I begin to feel that feeling, whatever it was, slowly develop in my chest.

When he told me those words, I wanted to ask how he knew. I wanted to know how he knew it was love. But I held off from it, knowing him he would’ve taken it the wrong way and believed I was doubting him. But in reality, I just would’ve wanted to know that if what he felt was the same as what I felt, did I love him too?

 

|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|

 

“Please, Levi, please, can we go?” I threw him a look of discontent. Why out of all the things we could’ve gone out to do on our “special date”—as he called it—he wanted to go watch a movie.

“The movie just came out and I really wanna see it, please?” He gave me that look, the one with the blown up eyes and the pouty lips and if I hadn’t already expressed I had feelings for him I would’ve walked away and never spoken to him again.

“Why do you want to see such a crappy movie?” The irritable tone of my voice did nothing to stop his whines, yes, they were whines. A freaking adult whining, I can’t believe how much he changed after I let him call me his boyfriend.

“It’s not a crappy movie!” Of course he wouldn’t let that one slide.

“What movie named Inside Out can be anything other than crappy?” I directed my gaze back to the TV as it had been before Eren decided to flop down beside me on the couch literally bouncing up and down with energy and I knew I shouldn’t have asked but too late now.

“Says the man watching the lamest TV show in existence. Admit it, you’re just lame.” I looked his way once again, seeing a smirk playing at his lips but his eyes telling a completely different story, disappointment? The look in his big green eyes told me exactly how he felt.

“Okay.” I averted my eyes from his direction, not wanting him to see my look of defeat. Because that was what just happened, I was defeated by a boy with pouty lips, big green orbs, and a whiny voice. I can’t believe how my life has turned out.

“‘Okay’ what? That you’re lame?” It took every ounce of me not to say fuck you brat and tell him to never expect me to go on a date with him ever, but I knew better than to do so. I may not have known Eren for long, but I had started to understand his ways, and it pained me a little to admit the guy I liked was not the smartest one of the bunch.

I grabbed the remote and turned off the TV, giving the boy next to me all my attention, “Okay, we can go watch that crappy movie you so badly want to see…” I tried to remain with a neutral, somewhat annoyed expression, but the way he reacted after hearing my words made it very difficult for me to not smile.

“Really? We can go? Thank you, thank you, thank you!” He threw his body at me in a form of a hug, nearly squeezing all the air out of me. “Thank you, Levi. I love you so much,” His words made me momentarily forget I was kind of suffocating to death, and instead of his hug not letting the oxygen in, his words were the one taking my breath away. The way he said those words, as if he didn’t even plan them and they just stumbled out made me realize he really felt that way towards me, that what he felt was really love. Fuck, I was getting cheesy as hell. Blame it on a certain boy named Eren that convinced me to go watch a freaking Disney movie…

“When are we going? Can we go now? Or maybe it’s better later? I don’t know, what do you think? I mean I don’t know when it’ll be best to go see it since I don’t really go to movie theaters, I’ve barely been actually, but you should know right…”

He stopped hugging me. His once happy expression turned into a look of concern. He just started out talking as an excited kid who knows he’s going to be getting a present in the nearby future, but finished out as an insecure boy who knows nothing about the world. His words made me feel a bit suspicious, but I didn’t think too deep into them, since I just wanted to see him smiling again. 

“We can go right now, actually. Then we can do more cheesy things later on, like go eat dinner, walk around the park, get ice cream and watch the sunset, you know all those cliché things young couples do.” My words may have sounded sarcastic, but looking into Eren’s lit up eyes I wanted nothing else but to do all those things with him.

He didn’t respond, instead the smile was back once again, brighter than before. And maybe it was because he could sense the sincerity in my voice, but the way he was looking at me, I couldn’t describe it, but it felt like I meant everything to him, like I was the best thing that had happened to him, and in that moment I decided that I’d do anything to never make him stop looking at me that way.

 

|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|

 

I didn’t tell him I loved him that time before we went to watch that movie, just like the first time I heard those words.

I didn’t reply the third time it came around, when he watched the smile that spread across my face after I’d taken a bite of the chocolate cake he’d spent hours preparing, convincing me that I was going to love it because it was made with love and effort.

No words were spoken from my part the fourth time he spoke those words, both of our bodies submerged under water, with our lips in close contact to the surface, his face mere millimeters from mine.

Only silence could be heard the fifth time he said it, when I pressed a warm cloth against his forehead, willing his high fever to go down.

Then the fifth time came around, and the words slid out of his lips like it was the first time. We were both lying in bed, safely wrapped against each other just like we had done during the cold winter. Although the temperature had gone up, he still liked to be under the blankets, most of his body thrown over mine as he placed kisses all over my face.

I never understood why, but by the look in his face it was safe to say that the thing he enjoyed doing the most was kissing me. I would kiss him too, but I could see he liked it when it was the other way around.

“You’re so beautiful Levi.” I would never get used to him looking at me and speaking such vulnerable words. Calling me beautiful, not knowing how I would react. Was I beautiful? I’ll never know for myself, but I could see that he meant it.

“I could lay here with you for the rest of my life, I could kiss you until I wouldn’t be able to anymore, but I’d never get tired of it. I would never get tired of you.” Every word that left his lips delivered a pang to my heart. I was in complete awe, I couldn’t believe he was saying those things to me. Never before I would’ve thought I’d meet someone who would whisper such pure words to me.

“Levi,” he spoke up once again, his green eyes staring in awe at me. “I love you.”

He brought his face closer to mine, his lips meeting mine in a slow, chaste kiss. No movement at all, I felt like the world had stopped and we were the only two left in it.

“I’ll never get tired of saying it, Levi, I truly do love you.”

It was as if I had lost control of my body, like my mind had gone blank and the next few seconds of my life happened on their own.

“I love you, too, Eren.” My eyes widened upon hearing my own voice out loud. I had said those words, for the first time since I was probably a small child, I had told another person I loved them.

I don’t know if it was real, or my imagination was playing tricks on me, but I saw tears begin to form in Eren’s eyes. His gaze told me those weren’t sad tears, they were anything but.

I reached up and wiped the first tear that spilled away. And then I spoke up again. “I love you.” One kiss. “I love you,” another one. “I love you, I love you, I love you.” I was running out of places to kiss, but I wasn’t done yet. “I love you, I love you.” Seven times he told me he loved me, seven times I spoke the same words to him.

And for the first time, “Eren?” He opened his eyes that had recently closed due to my excessive kissing. “I love you.” I spoke the words to him first as our lips met once again.

 

|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|

 

“Wait, stop.” I automatically moved away from him upon hearing his words.

“Are you okay?” Eren nodded his head frantically, visibly gasping for air.

“I just… need to… catch my breath.” As if it wasn’t obvious, I don’t know why I asked.

After our little cheesy night full of kisses and I love you’s, Eren had become more open with me, in all senses speaking. He spoke more, actually, he whined more. He smiled more often and spent more time outside, not just outside of our shared room but outside the apartment, dragging me with him.

He also kissed me more often, kisses that soon became make out sessions. At first I could see how inexperienced he was, not lasting more than seconds with our lips connected, getting tired after a while, but stubbornly wanting to continue to bruise my lips, because yes, he wasn’t an expert at kissing either. He also got out of breath really quick, telling me to stop and frantically gasping for air. If I didn’t love him as much as I did—and yes it took me a while to realize it but I did love him—I would’ve stopped trying to kiss him long ago.

But even after that happened, he would want to continue.

“Okay, I’m good now.”

“Like you’re not going to be like this again in less than a minute.” I murmured under my breath.

“What?”

“Nothing…” I smirked up at Eren, whom didn’t waste any time catching my lips with his again.

And that’s how we spent majority of our time in the next couple of weeks, making out. Soon, Eren no longer stopped kissing me before a minute gave out, sometimes even lasting more than me, probably due to his younger age.

After that he no longer stopped me because he couldn’t breathe, but because my hands traveled down too far into unexplored areas. He would no longer say stop, but rather abruptly brake our contact, diverting his gaze into the blank walls of our warm room. I’d remove myself from on top of him, instead lying face up next to his figure.

The room would stay still, just heavy breathing being heard from both of us. No words spoken until sleep would take over one of us, usually Eren. I would just stay asleep trying not to think about this constant occurrence.  

 

|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|

 

It’s not like I wanted to have sex with him, well, maybe a little bit. But it’s not like every time our make out sessions got too heavy, and my hands started traveling to the hem of his shirt, that my mind was full of thoughts of sex. No, my mind was a thing of his own, enamored by the boy lying beside me, thoughts full of love and need to touch him, trace every part of his body to show my appreciation towards his existence, his love, his everything.

But the way I saw it, Eren didn’t see it that way.

It started to show. He’d get fidgety before we even started making out, not like we intended to make out. He knew, I knew, that once our lips connected it was very hard to just let each other go. It was like we were both taken over by this passion, this desire to hold each other close, but once my fingertips brushed the bare skin under his shirt, he’d lose that feeling and instead let me go to be on his own.

It happened a couple of times, me too carried to away to have this information in the front of my  head, my hands tracing his spine thought his cotton shirt, slowly reaching its end, lifting up the shirt to almost touch his skin but instead be met with his firm hands stopping mine in the act. Then I’d snap out of it and realize what I was doing, what I almost did.

Thinking about it made me believe what I was committing a deadly sin, when in reality the act could be seen as nothing, but not to Eren.

So the make out sessions stopped, not because of Eren, but because of me. It wasn’t a conscious decision, but every time we lied in bed at night and his lips would find my own, my mind would go on an annoying alert that I had to stop it before it got too far. And stop it I did.  

It started slow, no more making out, laying on top of each other, hugging too hard, even kissing too much.

The kisses were short and less occurring. It worried me that we were drifting apart, but it all went down to me thinking I had to do what pleased Eren, and he didn’t want to be touched like I wanted to touch him, but in the end it spiraled out of my control.

 

|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|

 

He hadn’t said I love you in a while. And neither had I. After the last time I accidentally reached for the hem of his sweatpants and he started hyperventilating, our relationship seemed to be on the way to destruction. He got up from the bed quickly, mumbling apologies as his voice could be heard it was close to tears.

“I’m sorry Levi, I just, I just can’t. I can’t do this, this… Sorry.” Although his voice was shaking, no tears were spilling out. But that was as far as I could see before he hurried out of the room, almost tripping on the floor due to the poor lighting the lamp on the bedside table was providing.

My mind went blank for a moment, not knowing what to do or what to take his words for. But soon I recovered my thoughts and quickly got up from the bed, going out into the living room to find Eren.

He was staring out the window into the night sky, just like I had found him the day of my past birthday.

“Eren,” he visibly flinched at the sound of my voice. The action making my heart drop more than it already had. Before I could get closer to him or speak up again, he spoke.

“You know…” His gaze that was once looking up at the sky dropped down to look at the street below our apartment. “I’ve… I’ve never had sex before.”

His words left me speechless, out of all the things he could’ve said I was not expecting that.

“You probably have experience in all of that stuff, but I don’t. I’m sorry. I just can’t think about that stuff like I can’t even call it for what it is. I don’t feel comfortable, I’m sorry I’ve made it look like I don’t want you because I never spoke up about it, I’m really sorry.” His green eyes looked hurt, but I knew the look they carried was not hurt from another person, but self-hurt, like what he had done had hurt himself more than anyone else could.

“No, Eren. I’m sorry.” Once again I was talking without thinking. “I’m sorry I’ve made it seem like I want us to have sex when in reality I just want us to get closer, not just personally but physically as well. None of that sex bulshit, no, but literally, I just want to get as close to you as I can. I’m sorry I’ve pushed over your boundaries and made you feel uncomfortable. I promise I won’t ever do it again until you really want me to. And even if you don't, I’ll never stop loving you, I’ll never leave you, I can’t imagine what it'd be like to not have you in my life.”   

The tears were spilling then, all over his beautiful frame and I wished I could do anything to just make them stop, but I knew I couldn’t, not yet, no matter how much I wanted to.

“I thought that, that if I didn’t get intimate with you, you’d lose interest in me. Fuck, I’m worse than a hormonal teenager.” He tried to speak in between his sobs, me desperately trying to reach out to him but knowing better and giving him his space. “I thought that the only reason you wanted me was just so you could fuck me, how fucked up is that?”

His words hurt more than I wanted them to. I wanted to scream, yell, ask him how he could ever think such thoughts, but I knew him better than I ever did before, and I came to the conclusion that Eren was a dysfunctional person, and every word he spoke proved that right. But it didn’t stop me from loving him any less, instead, it made me understand him better.

“Eren, you don’t have to be sorry. I understand.” Although I meant my words as a form of comfort, his sobs got louder upon letting them out. I began to make my way towards him, haven given him enough time to cry on his own.

“Shush, Eren. I understand what you said. I’m not mad at you.” For some reason I believed these words were the right ones to mutter in his ears, and I was right, as his sobs calmed down, only silent tears escaping his eyes.

“Really?” He asked after he finally calmed down enough to talk.

“Yes. Thank you. For telling me how you felt. We don’t have to do the thing if you don’t want to. Just by holding you in my arms I’m content.” His grip on me tightened, and I could no longer feel dropping wetness on my shirt.

“And Eren?” He hummed in response. “I love you.”

He let go of me and green eyes meet mine in a longing gaze. His eyes were still red, but they no longer were filled with hurt, but rather they were filled with understanding, gratefulness, and love.

“Levi.” It was my turn to hum. “I love you, too.”

 

 

|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|

 

It had been approximately six months since Eren had told me he was still a virgin. It had also been six months since we once again started making out, but also six months since we still hadn’t done “the thing”, as Eren liked to call it.

I wasn’t disappointed, not at all. That is not to say I didn’t imagine Eren naked in my dreams, moaning out my name and begging me to go faster. It didn’t mean I didn’t jerk off in the bathroom thinking about his wet tongue licking every part of my body. Or his soft inexperienced hands slowly moving up and down my hardened member. And by the looks of it, I wasn’t the only one.

Late at night, after we had shared our saliva and I decided to call it a night before Eren, I’d be woken up by the sudden movements of the bed, slowly opening my eyes to see the silhouette of the bed sheets moving up and down in a certain area. It took every ounce of me not to replace his hands with mine, maybe then replace my hands with my mouth and make him come undone under me.

But although we both pleasured ourselves in our own time, there was still something holding Eren back.

And he finally opened up.

“I want us to do it Levi, I want us to do the thing.” We were both lying in bed, staring up at the ceiling watching the sun’s shadow through the window as it descended down the sky.

“Really?” The surprisement was evident in my voice.

“Yes, I think I’m ready.” He stopped looking at the ceiling to watch my profile, but I didn’t meet his gaze.

“You think?”

“No, I know.” I looked at him then, and I didn’t need to ask any more questions to know that he meant it.

“Just one thing…” I expectedly watched him, waiting him to continue his words. “I want us to get married.” I don’t know how I did it, but I managed to choke on my saliva.

_Nice one Levi, now the kid’s gonna think you don’t want to get married to him. Wait, do I want to get married to Eren?_

“I’m serious. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, and I’d like us to make it official.”

“Okay,”

“Okay, what?” Here we go again. “Okay, we should get married?” I smiled at him, maybe he had matured a bit.

“Yes.” His smile beat mine, so wide I thought he’d crack his lips. But before that happened, he reached towards me and kissed me with the most passion he had ever had before, and that was enough to tell me that he was ready for marriage, for “the thing”, and for whatever else came our way.

 

|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|

 

“Eren, stop!”

“Why, I don’t want to!” He was whining again. I thought he was going to stop after the last time but I was obviously wrong.

“Yes, I know, you don’t want to do this.”

“No, I meant I don’t want to stop doing this.” He smirked at me, a low devilish laugh being emitted from his lips.

“Okay, but I’m telling you now. If in any time you feel like you don’t want this, then tell me to stop. Got it?” My hands were reaching up, blocking him from completely devouring me.

“Not gonna happen, but I got it!” He was too excited for this.

I mean he had been excited since he woke up this morning. It was our wedding day after all. So he woke up early and left the house, saying he couldn’t see me until the ceremony because bad luck bla bla bla. I let it be because I couldn’t deal with his energy all day, I mean, I felt tired just by looking at him right after waking up.

So I spent the day in my house, having a surprise—not really—visit from no other than a special *cough, cough* person named Hanji, whom Eren and I had met when we started making preparations for our “special day”, as Eren liked to call it. She came over the apartment and helped me get ready, while Eren went to the house of some girl named Mikasa, who also worked in the same company as Hanji doing weddings and things of the sort.

The ceremony was simple, but Eren took my breath away, once again. I couldn't explain what I felt as we exchanged our vows and promised to be together in our highs and our lows, in the good and the bad, and looking at Eren while I said those words I truly meant them. I vowed to always stick by Eren's side, and as we grew old together, I promised I’d help him get through whatever it was that haunted his dreams at night.

When the time came, we both said I do, and then we kissed. We kissed for the first time as a married couple, something I’d never thought would happen in my life. But a certain guy that looked no older than 18, with bright green eyes that shined, straight white teeth lined into a perfect smile and dark brown short hair named Eren entered my life, and life as I knew it and imagined it would be was never the same.

So that night, we kissed, and those kisses turned into making out, and soon my hands traveled down his white dress shirt, all the way to the hem. As I lifted it up, Eren didn’t stop, instead he grabbed my hand and placed it under the shirt, letting it rest there as we thought about where we had come from, and where we were soon going to go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My actual notes for the outline of this chapter: "WTF this is soooo cliché. Okay maybe not this whole story is so sappy to begin with"  
> HAHA! I'm sorry guys, I couldn't stop myself and this is what happened. Yay they got married! Well, I did hinted in the opening notes didn't I?  
> And also, yes, Eren has a tragic backstory that is not revealed in this fic, but I wanna do a prequel about his life in his POV (I just need to figure out the plot hehe)  
> And I'm sorry guys, I tried, I really did. But writing smut is not my thing and it just came out weird and I just deleted it and left it up to your imagination! Maybe in the near future I could be comfortable enough to write smut, for now I'm stick to reading it instead, and writing this sappy crap I can easily do.  
> Thank you to all of you who devoted your time to reading this, who left comments and kudos, and who stuck through my never-ending hiatus! I love you all, and can't wait till I embark in a new adventure, aka, a new Ereri fic.  
> Love you all <3


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